Learning how to ask for help without feeling weak starts with understanding a key principle: asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Asking for help is a sign of strength, self-awareness, and courage. When you allow yourself to receive support, you strengthen relationships, create deeper connections and give yourself what you need.
Why Is It So Hard to Ask for Help?
It’s hard to ask for help because we’ve been conditioned to believe it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help and we should be able to handle everything on our own.
If this year has taught me anything, it’s that even the strongest among us sometimes need a helping hand. Importantly, admitting it isn’t a weakness, it’s a sign of wisdom, courage, and strength.
And yet, for so many of us, it’s far easier to offer support than to ask for it.
We will happily and generously provide support for our loved ones, our clients, our communities. But when we need assistance or support, we often tell ourselves some version of:
- You should have it all together.
- Don’t bother anyone with your problems.
- It’s a sign of weakness or failure to ask for help.
Why Asking for Help Is a Sign of Strength
Asking for help is a sign of strength because it requires self-awareness, honesty, vulnerability, and the courage to be seen.
When we acknowledge we need help and ask for it, it allows us to connect deeply with people and let them into our lives in meaningful ways.
It strengthens relationships with others and ourselves.
It allows us to develop and deepen our self-respect and worthiness as we recognize we all need help at some point in life. We owe it to ourselves to ask for what we need and receive as generously as we give.
“Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength, self-awareness, and courage.”
Coach Joan Jakel
Receiving Support Strengthens Relationships and Deepens Connection
When you allow yourself to receive support, you open the door for real connection.
It strengthens relationships and grows respect. It allows people to show up for you in meaningful ways.
It also reinforces something important: giving and receiving are both necessary.
Receiving is the counterpart to giving and helps maintain that balance.
The constant act of giving without receiving can create a barrier to true connection.
Receiving removes the one-sided dynamic of being a constant giver and replaces it with reciprocity and connection.
Finally, letting someone help you can actually be a gift to the giver. People feel good when they can help others. There’s an experience of joy and purpose in being able to support the people we care about.
Why Does Asking for Help Trigger Shame?
Asking for help can trigger shame because of the stories we’ve internalized about what it means to need support.
Shame whispers that needing help means you’re failing at life. It attacks your sense of worth and starts labeling you as incompetent or worse.
Before you know it, you feel miserable about yourself, your needs are still unmet, and there’s no way you’re going to ask for the help you truly need.
If this sounds familiar, let’s shut down these lies, manipulations, and mean-spirited self-talk right now.
How to Ask for Help without Experiencing Shame
You release shame by bringing it into the light and speaking truth to it rather than let it hide and fester.
Brené Brown taught me that, and it was especially helpful when I recently reached out to people in my community for support.
While they were happy to provide it, and even acknowledged me for asking for it, I felt a twinge of shame.
Rather than let it linger and grow, I called it out.
I turned directly to the people who helped me, thanked them again, and shared that I was feeling shame around asking for their assistance. I owned that it was mine, not theirs, and I knew the clearest path to release it was to speak it out loud so it had no hold over me.
Naming shame and speaking truth to it robs it of its power.
That conversation didn’t just bring relief by completely eliminating the shame, it deepened my relationships, set an example, and strengthened my courage and confidence.
Here’s how you can start practicing asking for the support you need and stay in your power in the process.
7 Tips to Help you Ask for Support
The following tips are a roadmap to help you get more comfortable asking for help when you need it.
1 Notice when you need support.
Pay attention to your energy, stress, or feelings of overwhelm. If you find yourself stuck, going in circles, or can’t find a solution, ask yourself who you could reach out to for support.
2 Name what you need.
Clarity helps identify the support you need: “I’m feeling isolated and could use someone to talk to,” or “I need a sounding board.”
3 Start small.
Begin with low-stakes requests. This builds confidence. You can ask for a second opinion or find an accountability buddy to help you through a tough project.
4 Choose people you trust.
Reach out to people in your inner circle, those who listen well or have offered help in the past.
5 Practice receiving.
When someone helps you, let it land. Say thank you. Resist the urge to downplay your need or immediately return the favor.
6 Speak your truth if shame arises.
If you feel vulnerable, try saying: “This is hard for me to ask, but I know it’s important,” or “I’m feeling a little awkward, but I could really use your support.”
7 Remember that giving and receiving both matter.
The strongest communities are built on reciprocity and mutual respect.
Recap To Help You Receive the Support You Need
Remember the following:
You are not alone. We all need support sometimes.
Asking for help is a sign of strength and wisdom, NOT weakness.
The people who care about you want to support you. Let them.
If shame shows up, speak it out loud. The simple act of naming it loosens its grip.
Receiving is just as important as giving.
Free Resources to Support You
I offer a variety of free resources on my website, including a clarity tool (the Clarity Catalyst), a grounding meditation, and a coaching audio, to name a few.
Check them out and add a couple to your toolbelt to give you some extra support: Free Resources
If you want more personalized assistance, let’s talk. You can schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Call with me.
👉 Book a discovery session: Joan’s Calendar
Make yourself a priority and get the support you need.
You deserve it.
I help purpose-driven entrepreneurs upgrade their mindset, eliminate limiting beliefs and reprogram critical, negative self-talk so they can courageously and authentically use their voice, gifts and talents to make a bigger impact.
If you're ready to thrive and develop an unshakeable belief in who you are and what you can achieve, let's talk!
Carpe Diem!
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