Learning to be

THE LANDSCAPE

Beth is a graphic designer and creative director. An early fascination with using technology to create art led her into the advertising world after getting a bachelor’s degree in psychology. She rode the tidal wave of technology from her first position as a production designer and technical illustrator to creative and technical director of a boutique marketing agency. She also battled chronic major depressive disorder and anxiety, untreated from the age of 12.

The Covid-19 pandemic, with its decreased stigma around mental illness, started to open her mind to the possibility of medication to help manage her condition. Then, her neighbors got chickens and somehow that was the last push she needed. It took a couple of years to get her medications balanced and then Beth found herself in a new place. At age 50, mostly free from depression for the first time since childhood, she found herself looking around at a self and a life she didn’t understand and didn’t know how to “be” in it.

Beth had seen the impact of my coaching on her boss and wondered if I’d be able to help her as well, both in becoming the leader her company needed and in figuring out how to function with a mind that felt new and unfamiliar. She had treated her previous encounters with therapists as a game to be won, not by engaging and honestly applying herself, but by telling the therapists what they wanted to hear. A coaching environment sounded like a better fit for this former athlete and daughter of a football coach.

 

Beth Seitzberg

We had developed a process for her to use when working through “first time” experiences, times when a situation or emotional response was new, or she had no behavior pattern around it.

THE JOURNEY

Beth went all in on coaching from the beginning. She was ready to learn and grow. She recognized that in her fifth decade of life, she basically had to re-learn how her mind and emotions work from this new depression-free place.

Emotions were often a mystery. She’d spent her life with a lot of negative internal dialog and had been depressed, anxious and passively suicidal for years. She honestly recognized and shared openly that she was alive despite herself. While she was relieved and pleased to feel alive, it was still a very strange new feeling that she needed to better understand.

Initially, Beth didn’t understand what she was feeling or how to discern the truth of those feelings. Our early work was about teaching her how to recognize emotions, feel them and express the associated affect. She started to blossom when she could genuinely understand her world through the lens of emotions that she could trust and engage with confidence. This was a powerful first step to tapping into her authenticity.

Next up, she examined all of her thought patterns to determine what was real, fabricated, conditioned or outdated so she could better align them with her new experience of life.

She learned how to reframe situations in her life to better support her. She navigated feelings of regret over lost time for having been so consumed by depression for thirty years. We shifted the narrative to thirty years of percolating which allowed her to emerge more ready than ever to take on life and accelerate her growth while creating new possibilities in record time. She also turned to the philosophy of life is happening “for” her, not “to” her, which gave new meaning to the last thirty years. Now, those thirty years were exactly what she needed to be the most extraordinary version of herself, which was exactly how she was feeling.

Based on these learnings, she started examining her old stories, conditioning and the rules and structures she created in her life. She discovered they were not supportive or based in her new understanding of how life works. She recognized it was time to let them go and create new paradigms of how life actually works to fully support her.

Beth released her old stories that if she wanted something good in life, there was a tradeoff and she had to suffer to achieve it. She also let go of her conditioned fear of expecting something bad to happen if she felt good for too long. She learned how to pay attention to what she was thinking and feeling and if it was old stories and conditioning, she recognized it for what it was and exercised the power of choice to NOT follow the old path and lean into a new, desirable direction.

Three months in, Beth made significant progress. She was comfortable sharing openly in a positive, authentic manner and was able to identify and express emotions. We had developed a process for her to use when working through “first time” experiences, times when a situation or emotional response was new, or she had no behavior pattern around it.

Because so much felt new to her as she genuinely tried on life for the first time, having a coach who believed in her was a huge component of her coaching experience. I gave her a place to be safe, to learn, to take baby steps into a new way of seeing herself, other people, the world around her and what she was capable of. According to Beth, “Joan became the voice in my head that drowned out the old voices telling me I couldn’t do it, wasn’t worth it, was deluding myself. And then she taught me how to be that positive, encouraging, emboldened, excited voice for myself.” Her trust in me as a coach allowed her to release her limits and build a new framework for living life.

THE HORIZON

Beth finds the idea of leaving coaching at this point ridiculous. The support, accountability, joy, and perspective she gains from our sessions is more important to her than ever as she continues to grow, evolve, and find her purpose.

She discovered life is more than being alive. She’s learned how to navigate her mind without fear, how to take responsibility for herself and her emotions, how to consistently show up authentically and how to be more intentional about every aspect of her life. She’s become a leader – personally and professionally. She can’t wait to see what’s next!

Are YOU ready to create a life you LOVE?

Let me show you the way – I have SO much to teach you!  You can explore my coaching programs by clicking here and schedule a complimentary discovery call with me to begin the process.

Thanks for sharing the journey!

Carpe Diem!

 

Joan

mindset coaching journal

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