Ready to rewrite negative stories in your mind? If the stories in your mind are holding you back, it’s time to take your power back and replace self-doubt with clarity, confidence, and peace.
You’ve probably been there—waiting for a reply to a message and watching the minutes tick by, only to invent a dramatic tale about why you haven’t heard back. Or maybe you’ve left a meeting you were well-prepared for, only to assume your comments came across the wrong way and you start to spiral into self-doubt.
Our brains are master storytellers, but not all stories are based on truth.
The Negative Stories We Tell Ourselves
We’ve all been caught in the web of invented narratives. One of my clients recently saw herself in a story I shared in my newsletter and thought I was writing about her.
She crafted an elaborate tale in her mind—but the truth? She wasn’t even on my radar when I wrote it! Yet her mind filled in the gaps with a completely unfounded story.
So, why do we do this?
Why Our Brains Spin Stories
When there’s a gap in information, our minds instinctively want to fill it in. It’s a survival mechanism rooted in our ancestors’ need to prepare for worst-case scenarios (think rustling bushes = lurking predator).
But today, these knee-jerk assumptions most often do more harm than good. They can:
- Undermine relationships.
- Erode confidence.
- Disrupt peace of mind.
- Create unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Luckily, we can rewrite the script.
How to Rewrite Negative Stories
The next time you catch yourself spinning a negative story, try these techniques to shift the narrative:
1. Ask Directly to Obtain the Facts
When you’re unsure about the facts of a situation, don’t guess—ask for clarity. A simple follow-up question to something you don’t understand or check in on the silent response can eliminate assumptions and provide clarity.
Being proactive in gathering facts over creating stories not only eases your mind but also builds trust in relationships.
2. Assume the Best
If you can’t get an immediate answer, make up a better story. The negative thoughts about the situation is a self-created narrative that assumes the worst. Flip the script and assume the best.
If you’re going to make up a story, make it one you’ll enjoy and would love to experience in reality. For example:
- Instead of assuming someone is upset due to a delayed response, assume they’re just busy and can’t wait to get back to you when they have a free minute.
- Rather than doubting your meeting performance, remind yourself of the positive feedback you received, how well you were prepared and that you felt confident as you provided your feedback during the meeting.
3. Retrain your Brain
You control your mind which means you have the ultimate power of what you allow in it. Choose your thoughts wisely, intentionally, and proactively.
Practice telling yourself positive stories until it becomes second nature. Each time you choose an uplifting narrative, you strengthen the neural pathways for optimism. Over time, your brain will default to more supportive and constructive stories and your life will reflect them. Plus, it feels so much better than the alternative!
A Real-Life Happy Ending
Now, back to my awesome client: instead of letting her mind run wild with a horror story, she used her coaching tools to rewrite it.
She paused, recognized that the narrative existed only in her mind, and reframed it. Not only did she shift her perspective, but her courage to share the experience with me gave me the opportunity to provide clarity, acknowledge her for using her tools, celebrate her progress and share my respect for how she’s living her life with intention to create the outcomes she desires.
This was a story with a very happy ending—and a powerful example of how we can all take charge of our narratives.
Rewrite Your Negative Story Challenge
This week, I invite you to join me in a simple yet transformative challenge:
- Notice when you start spinning a story in your mind.
- Pause and ask yourself, “Is this story helping me or hurting me?”
- If it’s hurtful, rewrite it. Seek clarity. Craft the best possible outcome and play it on repeat.
By taking control of your inner storyteller, you can create a life filled with positivity, confidence, and connection.
If you’d like to learn some skills to create better stories and train your brain to fully support you, let’s chat! Click on “Joan’s Calendar” to access my calendar and schedule a call to explore the possibilities. I’d love to connect.
I help purpose-driven entrepreneurs upgrade their mindset, eliminate limiting beliefs and reprogram critical, negative self-talk so they can courageously and authentically use their voice, gifts and talents to make a bigger impact.
If you're ready to thrive and develop an unshakeable belief in who you are and what you can achieve, let's talk!
Carpe Diem!
- Will the Real Joan Jakel Please Stand Up! - March 23, 2026
- What It’s Really Like to Work With a Coach - March 15, 2026
- The Hidden Cost of Lack of Clarity - March 1, 2026
